I'm going to thanx to my teacher for my thesis, even... he did what he did, but i'm going to do this anyway. Well, YES, im an officialy graduate student. Honestly, no pride. My school was OK, but half made, I have a litle regret about some my moments there, when I could do better, I could do more, even refering to interpersonal relationships... It's a bitter sweet taste, ( more bitter than sweet )and this because of my thesis, which went OK, if you are wondering, dear ridders, but not THE BEST, as I planned :).
Anyway, I'm flying aftertomorrow and today AIESEC friends made me a "surprise" party :), flowers and good music are waiting for me. I'm going to dance tonight, since I havent doing it since some time ago.
My sister is still with me and I refuse to think about the moment when I'm going to hug her before she'll step in the buss, for leaving. It's going to kill me.

Such intenssive moments lately!

Today I bought the ticket for my trip to Turkey... from there - final destination - Kyrgyzstan!
Who would ever though? :) I still remember how TIG was hosting my first feeling about that country... my first emotions for my application and now... things are really happening.
Lumi, happy by choice.

Each day has its little story... or at least, that's how I feel when I wake up in the morning and... I'm asking "OK, what's the next destination?"

Despide the fact that this month made me so powerless in front of so many events: driving licensee exam, graduation event, graduation party, thesis... , summed up: lots' of stories to tell....I couldnt find myself writing even 1 row on this blog. I couldnt gather myself and write even 1 word on a paper... nothing, zero... This morning, I felt that need of saying stuff, maybe just because I dont want to hear the voice of my room mate (that's another story, but does not worth to be said)...

Besides, I start to feel that mixture feelings between fear and happiness...
Now, when I'm thinking that I might not see these people never again, I feel how those shivers wander over my body and how my tears fill my cheeks...
I never expect one of my AIESEC mates to write me those words and to say such things about me... I was shocked.
Thank you, Z.

He came and stood in front of my students dorms for the whole night... just watching the window... he flu over 12 countries, 2 different continents ... just for this... for one night...without even telling me about this.
While i was working on the thesis till the first morning light, he was there, 30 metres away, without saying a word... What kind of heart do you have? What kind of man you are?... I never seen this before, not even in movies, not even in those love stories... I never saw someone capable for sacrifice as you ... for someone that never deserve it... how wrong you were when u said to me that "you are worthing"... How wrong!...

I will never understand how far you can go... I will never understand who I was for you... and who I am for you ... that's what you always said to me.
How right you are and how little I feel in front of your love.

I don't remember to ever miss my parentes more than as I feel tonight...
I just wake up and it's 3:17AM... and I feel that strong will to hug them...
that's all I need.That's all.
Again that fear of being away from them for one year.
... is it right what'am doing?

I'm not normal. Definately I'm not. I've spoke with my teacher and he said that if i do this - im on my own. I'm going to change the whole structure of my thesis. I had a revelation. Yes, I know how I want it to look like. The trick is - everything must be DONE in 1 week. Never heard about anyone to write his thesis in one week.
All I keep in my head is one picture - me standing proudly on the graduation stage - proud for my 4 years of university, proud for my thesis, proud for my results as a student. (The last one can't be fully done anymore :P, but it goes well with the rest of my ambitions ;) ) and if i want to feel this way - then I need to make my ideas reality.

The RACE starts NOW!

... I love the sky today!
Lumi

A good rest is half the work... now I got it.

I want to know that you learnt to smile...
I want to know that you learnt to forget me...
I want to know that you learnt to post an entry without including me, but still to post it.

Supreme selfish,
...

Its passed midnight and my To Do's list is not over yet. Still need to work on my thesis. I've set to write about 5 pages more today, but I couldn't manage to do this during the day light so I should do this now... somehow... when everybody sleeps... but I dont want to drink that coffee. Why I cannot stay awake without it? and is driving me even more crazy when I see how relaxed are my roomates. It seams that dont have stuff to do...Dont they have dreams? or they are just more realistic that I am?
... but you cannot achieve dreams sleeping.
I've been to work and I ended up at 3PM, then went to police for taking my papers, then I went to auto legislation classes...and when i came back it was 8PM already. The time was flying..
I promise to myself that tomorrow I'm going to take 2 free hours to see a good movie...
.............................................................................................................................................................
and although all this just my sweet sister asked me how I am today.... :)

When two people love eachother, but it seams that they cant be together... when do you think that enough is enough?